she's into porn, im staying here tonight
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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