i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You made out with two different species that night
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
