if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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