Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
