He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
