He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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