Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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