careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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