Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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