Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
