Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
