I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
