I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just cut my nipple shaving
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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