2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
