wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
