so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
