how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
