I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
