She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
