you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
