DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
