5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
