Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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