Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
