4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
