STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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