You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
