I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
