BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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