I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
worst night to have a conscience
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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