The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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