Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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