dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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