so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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