I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
