I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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