I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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