Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
