from now on my penis is your penis
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
