my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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