I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
