I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
