you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
