hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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