I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
