Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
