my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
