Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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