How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
