don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Randomize
