finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
