I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
