I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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