I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
