I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
