It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
