How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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