just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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