i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize