Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
