My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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