Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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